new vs old

Love and marriage...they don't always go together...shocking isn't it? Well it isn't if you've been together more than a decade, you know that love and marriage can get tricky.  But, today, the day of love.  Well, I was thinking about it, as I miss my man, he's on a trip for work, returning late tonight, but I can hardly wait.  I was thinking about how different it is.  This love of ours.  How when we first met, love was intense, passion filled, expressed in almost every word, that's what it seemed like at least.  I remember my heart aching to say good bye to him and not for a long trip, but for a night, a day, a few hours, it seemed like eternity.  That's the love we have.  It's real, it's honest and sometimes not so beautiful.  But, new love is beautiful.  It's addicting really, it's what movies are made of.  It sucks you in and lets you believe that you are going to be old and wrinkled one day and feel the exact same way...but you won't.  It'll be different, very different.  Here are a few examples....

Ways to express Love...

New love: Spend 1/2 your monthly earnings on the biggest, most expensive roses that can be found and have them delivered to her work to make all the co-workers jealous...now....
Jeremy once brought home one rose that lit up and played some tunes, gotta love it...

New love: Make reservations at the most expensive restaurant in town and spend the night holding hands and staring at each other longingly while enjoying a chocolate fondue and feeding each other...
Now....heat up a frozen pizza and hijack our kids valentines candy, lovingly sharing the only really good candy found, after they are in bed of course!

New love: Buy some elaborate, over the top, cheesy heart necklace that will surely be worn less time than it took to pay for the thing....now....
Go shopping at Super Target and buy all household necessities that your pregnant wife is too tired and sick to buy in the last three months and bring home roses and chocolates to boot.

New love:  Light candles and take bubble bath together, listening to your music together and you know the rest....now....
put on his old tshirt, shut off ALL light source of any kind, and well, hurry up, the kids might wake up....

So, new love is shiny and expensive, it's focused and thoughtful, but old love, well there just isn't anything like it; knowing that person loves you for flaws, loves you with your body in less than perfect conditioning, loves you when you aren't so lovable.  It takes you to a place of deep, true love if you let it.  Where you can be together and hang out with the most simple thing, like a quiet house and appreciate what you have built together.  A house full of love.

Sometimes I miss new love.  With my friends we chat about the days that are husbands did anything for us, that we craved just to be near them, we want that fantasy to last longer.  And it's true, I do miss it at times, it was so innocent and lovely.  But, love is like childhood, it's fun and adventurous in the beginning and then a lot of responsibilities, tragedy's and life lessons kick in and you have a choice to grow with it or leave it in the dust for a greener pasture.  Well, my pasture is pretty green right here, thank you very much.

Go love your man, for all that he is, and you know what he wants, yeah you know.  And for the men that read this, go love your woman, that means, do the dishes tonight, put the kids to bed and then listen to her, really listen, while you rub her feet and cuddle close to her, with zero expectation, trust me on this one.

We could really learn a lot from not focusing on our needs so much in life, but especially in a marriage. Focus on his needs today, and magically I know your needs will be met shortly there after, it's the beauty of old love, it works like that....