a dad

We all have one...no really you do.  Maybe he isn't involved, or what you dreamt of, maybe he's passed recently or years ago, but in all of us is a place that yearns and/or loves our dad.  What makes a good dad? Is it the one that keeps the garage cleaned and organized and teaches you the basics in home care? Is it the one that would rather get down and dirty in the mud with you and care less that you are covered head to toe in filth?  We all have our images, dreams and expectations of what makes a dad.

I am one blessed girl.  I got a good one.  And when I mean that he is good, I mean that he has stayed up till midnight solving world politics or well um, boyfriends, either way, he listens and listens well.  He has a skill at making you feel important and like nothing else matters when you are around him.  He's taught me many things, about love and life and I think that's what a good dad does, for their little girl or teaching their son to become a man.  They know the fine balance of love and security and pushing to make them strive for more.  My dad hasn't had the easiest life, he's had his share of struggles, one of the reasons I think that he constantly doesn't sweat the small stuff and has a way of putting all things in perspective.  He is patient, sits quietly when you discuss problems in your own life, waiting it out for you to find the answers, even though sometimes I wish he'd just TELL me them, he won't, he knows better.  He knows and trusts that I will find my own path, my own identity and take my own journey and isn't that what a great dad does?  He says to you, 'I am here', but doesn't push you 'there'.

My dad is not without flaws, for instance he is known to drive without stopping for ANYTHING, so you better pee before you leave and not drink a drop, because listen, he ain't stopping.  And crowds, oh my dad loathes them, so we never did many things that involved high traffic stops as kids, I didn't go to the MN State Fair until I was a teenager and EVERY time we saw fireworks it was out of the back of our car window driving away, to "avoid" traffic.  He also loves newspapers and that means all of them all over, all the time.  We all have our things, that make us uniquely us and uniquely well, annoying, but now they are memories I treasure.  Because in that car driving away, he would make up games like, "Let's Make Cents" where we had to guess correct random fact answers and earn certain amounts of money before the time ran out, we aren't talking big bucks more like a nickel or dime, but none of that mattered it was the games that did.  I see the fun he still brings for my kids, treasure hunts for our pirate loving boy, endless maps that he draws and pads of paper personalized with pirate emblems and his name, because he knows how to do the little things in life.  He gets it.  All of it.

Any time I tell my dad how much he means to my life or me, he always follows it up with what I mean to him, what I add to his life and how lucky he is, we fight about it, the value we hold in each others life.  He's remarried now and has numerous hats to juggle and people who love and wish to spend time with him and I have to respect that, it isn't easy.  Even at 35 I want to spend time with him like old days, when we would sit at the kitchen table and chat.  I remember when I moved out, I am the youngest and it was hard on him.  I think how ironic for how much trouble I was as a teenager, he still missed me and our chats and I did him, how many 18 year olds can say that?  But, it's true.  I am that lucky.  The bond that we have is indivisible.  It always honestly has been, something special between a little girl and her daddy. 

I see it cultivating between Audrey and Jeremy, it started the moment that little girl was placed in his arms.  Jeremy changed, mood shifted, life altered, he has a little, baby girl.  As special as my dad is and the wonderful love we have, I also am equally choked up by moments between our princess and her dad.  To see how differently he holds her, tickles her a touch more gently, lets her always win, not to say that he loves Graham or Nolan less, of course not, but a girl and her dad, just something about it.

I see how all of our kids react when their daddy is home.  How they light up and "attack" him, their favorite activity of late to wrestle him and play "monster".  Nolan even gets in on the action, and lately has learned some kung fu moves of his own.  It's awesome, knowing they are making moments and memories of their dad and that time they spend with him.

I have always been envious of the neighbors who's husbands have the perfect lawns and garages, organized down to every screw and our 'workbench" well right now as I write it houses a few diapers, bubbles, couple of cd's, a saw, a drill and a variety of other misplaced random items, and honestly it's rather clean at the moment!  So, to say the least, my hubby's strong suit isn't in a clean garage or weed free lawn, but as he gently and well not so gently reminds me, what do you think those guys are doing as they spend all their time cleaning and organizing those spaces, where are their kids? And he's right.  He's cool with hiring someone else to mow our lawn, he'd rather spend his time playing with our kids.  He does all the time, he is the "fun" dad, who throws them the highest, gives them treats when mommy says no more and tickles them till they cry.  So, how can I complain?  I can't, he's right, completely right.  Shit, did I just put that in writing....