move it

I live for change...disruption, drama, newness, whatever you want to call it, I like it. A lot. Some of my friends may know this about me, that I am an adventure seeker, never one to shy away from a daring feet. This includes the time that Jeremy surprised me for my birthday and we went skydiving, yep 10,000 feet in the air, with my feet dangling over the edge of an open plane...the scariest part by far, btw....then jump...a leap into open space, I had a hot guy with me of course, that didn't hurt! :) But, it

was awesome, the feeling of risk taking, carefree fun....well that was before kids. Kids change all that naive, free, fun-loving, risk taking behavior, for the most part. Now, well now I take my risks in small doses, that's laughable really because my risks involve moving furniture now. Yep, I like to change the scenery in our house about every 45 days as Jeremy tells me! Its a point of contention with us, see my 5 foot 3 inch...ok fine 2 1/2 inch frame isn't designed to move large pieces of furniture up and down stairs, so I have to depend on him, and well, he isn't a fan of this obsession. I don't believe him for the record...I think he really secretly loves the results of a new room once his move that a little more to the right, oops nope all the way back to the left, WAIT I got an idea, why don't we put that back upstairs in a different place...this is where he draws the line. He has one believe it or not, my

patient and loving husband does eventually draw it and well then I patiently wait a few months and revisit the option again....ever so lovingly.

I can't help it, I love new environments, ya know people who live in one house for 40 years, I just can't see it. I moved every year until we bought our first house, we lived there for 3 years and then here, which we only planned to stay in a few years, until the market went to crap and well now it's been 5, we'll see how much longer! I'm so crazy that I told Jeremy we should rent it out and go rent someone else's house just for fun! I couldn't think of a better idea than moving every year to a new area, testing them all out until finally we decide what is a great fit for us....let's just say he didn't think that was such a great idea! But, I am no

t one of these people who likes to stay still, same old same old. Nope, I want to pack up the boxes, clean out the clutter and find newness! Doesn't have to be bigger or better or perfect or new even, but just different. So, since I am stuck here for now, I like re-arranging our living quarters basically monthly. Nolan's therapist that come to the house have been the ones to most notice it, as they are here weekly and witness the frequency of change. I like gathering opinions and weighing other options from different opinions, it's fun! So, when it is Christmas tree time, you know some re-arranging is going to happen! I REALLY wanted to shake it up and take our eat in kitchen table completely out and put in t

wo big comfy chairs and a big leather ottoman and make it more of a sitting, gathering area just for the holidays! Jeremy nixed that, I think hauling all of it downstairs was the kicker, but a girl can dream! So, here is our living room now...I know I didn't get a before, SORRY....what's the point of a reveal without the before, I won't make that mistake again, and don't worry it won't be long before it's changed.

What I think is funny, is I am passing this on to the kids, whether that's good or bad is up for debate, but they love when I re-arrange, they run around saying, "WOW look at this new room!" And they have switched or changed beds, bedrooms, sleeping directions and arrangements no less than 20 times since we've lived here, no I am not kidding. But they go with it, they think it's fun to have a change of scenery, so much so, that my latest creation, is the bonus room over the garage, I had Jeremy take down Graham's bunk beds and separate them, hung up huge curtains and voila a new fun bedroom, that Audrey insists in sleeping in with Graham and doesn't want her awesome girly room! I'm with her and it's a good thing because taking those bunk beds apart wasn't so fun for my man, so I think it isn't going back to the room anytime soon, we shall see (wink wink)!

With all of this change and moving of "things" one thing that is a constant in our home is traditions. I live for the holidays, love the smell of the change of a season, get giddy for every single one. That's why as much as Jeremy wishes for warmer living arrangements I am thinking that's a no and we will be in Minnesota for years to come. I love the smell of turkey cooking, family laughing, football playing in the distance, it's all the same, year after year and that's one thing I don't ever want to change. I know it will, I know things do inevitably we will face loss and the landscape of our family will change, but for now it is all so perfect that this change feign is at peace. Speaking of change....guess who is learning to crawl...oh our sweet boy....I keep trying to download the video, but this new mac I am on is way smarter than me and I can't figure it out, so I will when I can, in the meantime, GO MOVE SOMETHING!!!! It's fun!

to ignore or not ignore that is the ?

So, Jeremy and I have been discussing for some time our kids and their obsession with, well, how do I say this...US! It sounds all sweet at first like, "oh your kids really love you!" And I hope this is true and like to think that, but really, why do they want to be with us, over pretty much anything else? I've run the gammet on do we spoil them too much? Give in to their every whim, bring them to fun places, I mean, the zoo, the beach and the mall IN ONE DAY! Yep, I've done it! See, it's a lot on me, I like to be busy, running around, exploring the world, with my kids. I'd way rather do that then let them watch TV or learn video games, I just don't like the whole sitting around thing. So, this summer it hit me, I think my kids like being with us too much. I know it sounds impossible, but if you wake up and go to a park by 9, then the beach then another park in the afternoon, the ice cream truck at night and chasing daddy around the house playing monster, cap that with a candyland game and well, you right there are in childhood heaven! What can be wrong with that, right? I mean, isn't my job as staying at home to involve my kids in fun activities that we learn to play, laugh and have fun. These days include helping make pancakes and eggs for breakfast, cutting the bread for lunch and stirring the rice for dinner, also setting the table and clearing it off, wiping up their own spills, picking up their toys, I mean, it isn't that they aren't responsible for their things or respecting people..or learning how to cook and clean. It's just that it's all too damn fun! I mean don't you remember being a kid and you would play a game with your parents ONCE A WEEK? Not three times by 10 am? It's hard to know when enough is enough. When our days shouldn't be planned around our kids. I am pretty sure my parents days were planned around their life unless it was our birthday or something. And well, around here it's Sunday and well you wouldn't know it, I take today for instance....an anything but spectacular family Sunday...woke up went to our Aunt and Uncles restaurant for breakfast, which includes Mickey Mouse Pancakes and Waffles, then to Costco where we run around and caved on buying stuffed bird puppets (don't ask)! Getting home, playing with said puppets, getting our outdoor gear on and going sledding, at 11am, coming in having lunch with hot cocoa and marshmallows, playing with doll house and puppets with mommy, playing football with daddy, back outside played with neighbor kids for 30 mins in the snow then with daddy for 40 more, then back inside to watch a movie...finally a lil quiet time, then played together and read books, I mean lots of books, then back outside at 5pm to go sledding AGAIN and attempt to make a snowman, back inside at 6 for dinner. Bathtime with more toys than water, dance contest for 30 minutes then story time and finally bedtime. Are you exhausted? We are! But, it's family time right? They are little right? I just don't know. I don't know what is too much and not helping them.

So, I read this article tonight....

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/1/

And it makes me feel what I have been worried about this whole time to be true. It is too much. Our kids have no idea what boredom, real boredom is like. And lately I have been working with both of them in the morning before school and what I mean by that is I IGNORE them. I FORCE myself to not engage in fun stuff and be all business. Just listen to my radio show and make them breakfast, let them play on their own, but no major fun stuff. And you know what? It's working, Audrey has been asking me, "when is school?" This coming from a girl that was crying every time I went to bring her. I don't know, it's tough this whole parenting gig. I feel guilty when I don't spend time with them doing engaging activities and I feel guilty when I ignore them. I know this may sound highly obnoxious and I TRULY am not trying to! It's just that there really is a place in being selfish and taking care of what we as parents need to do without feeling badly for our kids. I think our generation has lost a lot of this and believe our kids should be happy and having fun ALL of the time and really, they could use a little boredom a little neglect if you will...I think a lot of my independence and strength has come from learning and knowing I can do things on my own without the help of others. Apparently I need to let my kids do this as well and seriously let go of this dang mom guilt! Does it get easier, ever? stop.laughing.

crafty? check.

Sometimes I like to think of myself a certain way, you know like totally different than you really are? Simple things really, like my makeup bag, it is AWFUL, a disaster, I for some reason hoard makeup and before you tell me how disgusting that is and all of the bacteria, send me youtube clips of 20/20's showing the creatures that call home my 5 year old Mac eyeshadow collection, let me tell you...I KNOW! It's nasty! But for some reason I don't go through and organize and clean my makeup drawer like I do my fridge....why is that? So many random things like this occur, I have this image of my sweaters and shirts all color coded in the closest so neatly hung and all it takes is a random friday night going out and to tear through there like Hurricane Irene and bam, my dreams are all kaput. This may be TMI for some of you so hold on tight...I take this whole living to a new level, oh yes, I involve my husband. See I used to tell him, I wish I was a girl that wore matching bra and underwear sets, but I just can't, either I don't like the bra that much or too much that I don't want to wear it with just those undies, or I just don't like buying all of the matching sets, I mean, come on it's a rip off and I don't want to waste our money on that! But, in reality, I secretly wish to be a woman who does. Who underneath it all has it going on! You know the type. The perfectly creased shirts all crisp and ironed, hair is gorgeous and I gaurantee she has a closet that looks like a Macy's display. I want THAT life. To be THAT person...it just isn't in the cards! So one year, my husband being amazingly thoughtful, went and did "Oprah's favorite things" for Christmas for me, so I kept opening package after package of beautiful little things that I LOVED....my favorite lip glosses, a new wustof chopping knife, a Coach wristlet in Okra color, I mean he was good, it was amazing, then the ultimate package, three sets of lacy, beautiful perfect bra and undies (I can't stand the word panties and let's be honest this is all a little TMI anyway!). He ventured into my nursing bra, when we were dating bra, post babies bra, collection and determined as best he could my current size and went for it! He mentioned something about me always wanting to be matching and now I could! So sweet, so perfect, so. not. me. :) I did it for about 2 weeks, but let's just say the undies and bras that he selected were more on the "mens" side of liking than a woman, not really everyday kind of wear if you know what I mean! And then I realized it, they don't make matching sets for everyday, I mean, unless you want a plain beige bra with a plain beige granny panty...LOL....you match at least!

It was so sweet none the less and I totally appreciate it, but have sucum to the idea that I am indeed a mismatched girl through and through....so when I find a project that is "crafty" I fail miserably! I tell myself I can do that! And buy it all and find a pile of junk when I am complete and left with spray glue and paints, canvases, you name it, it's stored somewhere or I just threw them away, but I try! So, I was reading one of my favorite blogs, I LOVE LOVE LOVE her decorating, attitude on life and her little boy has a magic chromosome like our Nolan and can I just say, he is the CUTEST little boy EVER! So, I always ooooh and ahhhh at her works of art and think I wish I could do that! Finally a couple of weeks ago, I saw this post.....

http://wwwourunexpectedjourney.blogspot.com/2011/11/let-decorating-begin.html

and I thought for the 724th time, I can DO THIS! So, I followed all of her simple instructions, glue holly on a letter...lol...and hang, guess what it looks like....HERS!!! It's beautiful, so much that I made another one for my bestie using sparkly balls and love that one too (the B isn't for bestie, it's her last name, :))!


So, you know what this means right? I have new found confidence that I can in fact be a better me and live to a higher standard and that's a mighty scary thing, because project 725 is sure to be a bust, but you just gotta keep on trying and finding inspiration in other mom's, that's just essential and fun!